um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
