Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
