Ambien. No doubt about it.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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