2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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