So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
