with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
