Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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