What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
