First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
