Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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