That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
