Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
