New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
