i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
