I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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