with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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