Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
just found out that she named her cat after me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
