Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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