just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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