how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
