you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
