Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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