god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
