WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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