It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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