It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
