I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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