i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
