like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
