If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
