She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
