Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
