we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
