I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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