my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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