I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
