he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
