she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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