the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
