Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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