yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
