@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
