Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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