the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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