just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
