Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
