so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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