Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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