Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
