Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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